I guess I'll dub this "sex and the city". Someone made a quote quite recently about sex being viewed as dirty before (some decades ago), but not anymore. Then a few weeks ago, I was about driving off to work one morning, when I received a text message from a friend of mine asking if I could kindly write an article on effects of premarital sex on the society. I asked if he was for or against it? he didn't give a straight forward answer (apparently lots of people aren't comfortable talking about such topics openly). I went further to asked him what prompted his suggestion of the topic? In my mind I wondered what must have happened. As it happens, he had a patient who has been married for 13 years with tubal factor infertility. She had a criminal abortion as a youth (with her current husband before they were married). It was done by an nurse, apparently not experienced and in bad environmental conditions. It became septic and she ended up in a hospital lucky to be alive but left with a frozen pelvis i.e all pelvic organs glued together and undifferentiable. Both tubes got blocked, now she can't have a child.
Some of you my dear readers may already know that I give some lectures in a marriage class. However what you may not be so familiar with are the topics of my discussion. I have been asked to talk severally on anti-abortion (I'm Catholic), methods of family planning and HIV/AIDS amongst others. Just to digress even more, I'll go into a bit of politics, about laws governing abortion and the right age for consensual intercourse. In some countries, abortion have been legalized and in others, the age for which consent can be given by the female partner has been reduced so drastically, (I wonder if that doesn't encourage paedophilism).
Now, libido is a normal reaction and craving for everyone right from the adolescent years. Sex is also something to be enjoyed, no objections about that. But pray tell me, why anyone would want to go into such relationships blind-folded and without enough information to fend for and protect themselves. In this day and age of blatant wickedness and numerous diseases spreading like wild fire? In this course of this discussion, I'll be focusing more on the negative effects of pre-marital sex. Some people may eat their cake and still have it. So this focuses on those who may not be as lucky. And not every can successful wait till the wedding night. With marriages now occurring at more advanced ages (particularly for women). For instance my mum married at 21. Her own mum (my grandma) married at 15.
WHAT TO EXPECT:
There are a few things to have in your back left pocket to arm yourself with before getting into a sexual relationship;
- Sex is not LOVE!! Don't get it twisted dear. Ever heard the expression "guys think about sex everytime, and then food next?" It's true. Gone are the days where a guy marries a girl because she got pregnant for him.
- Have also in that pocket that there are numerous diseases flying around the world. A lot of sexually transmitted diseases e.g. gonorrhea, syphilis and topping the list HIV/AIDS. The world is now a global village. So, if you aren't careful, something all the way from Antarctica can meet you in Africa.
WHAT TO DO:
- If you can, ABSTAIN!!!
- Don't be easily swayed. Don't sleep with him because you are pitying him, or "he's pestering me a lot, let me just do it and get it over and done it". Or all my friends are not virgins anymore, I have to just the bandwagon. ("I cant be left alone syndrome").
- Always protect yourself, use a condom. If you do it in a hurry, you may end up dealing with unwanted circumstances in a hurry too.
- Be faithful to only one partner. Also try to make sure that your one partner is also faithful to you. If he/she has multiple sexual partners, you do too.
- I won't add get married as one of the things to do, even if it is the right thing to add. This is because a lot of people no longer honour their marriage vows.
This is for the ladies and the gents! Yep, that's right, no one is spared, although the women seem to have double the trouble as they are not only exposed to contracting an STD, but are also the ones who get pregnant.
- Exposure to Sexually transmitted diseases: It can cause infertility in both sexes, especially gonorrhea and syphilis. If you are lucky and detect it early, it may be treatable without dire consequences.
- There is HIV/AIDS to contend with. Tell me why anyone in their minds would pick up a prostitute and not use a condom. Then they run to the hospital the next morning for a retroviral screening (HIV test)?
- Getting pregnant: this can end in any of the following ways;
- The guy marries you and you lives happily ever after (becoming rare by the minute).
- He denies and abandons the lady to bear the brunt of single parenthood. This may turn out to be good or bad. You never know.
- You opt for an abortion so you may be free to go on with your normal life as it was.
- An abortion may be successful especially when done by the expert in good environs. It may also be very unsuccessful with some of the consequences enumerated below.
- Excessive bleeding
- Infertility: from chronic infection (pelvic inflammatory disease), Overzealous curettage (scrapping) of the uterine walls, leaving them to fuse together during its healing.
- Injury to the uterus or it's surrounding structures. This usually results from a perforation in the uterus.
EFFECTS ON THE SOCIETY:
The society suffers in more ways than one as you can well imagine;
- Our children grow up with the wrong practices, thinking them to be the right ones
- The law makers are pressured into making laws in order to prevent untimely deaths resulting from unsafe abortions.
- Because the majority of people affected by these are the young and upcoming adults who would make up the work force in the future, you have old people working well past their years of retirement to help buffer their children.
- More drop-outs and illiterate young people who may be unable to fend for themselves. Let's face the truth only a handful of people make it with little or no form of education. (if you are university drop-out, you are not included in this group since you'll acquired some level of education at least).
Be safe guys, remember you are loved. Don't make a mistake today that would ruin your life tomorrow.