FOOD FIRST

Today, F is for Food! And it might as well be since many know me as the food mistress at work. What they don't know is how I got to the point of eating food every morning before work. Here is my story;

During my medical school days, I had to be in class before 8am, and that meant skipping breakfast. I only got the opportunity to eat during the break periods and that was at 11am. I didn’t see the big deal in eating at 11am (especially since I rarely get hungry, and don’t even realize it when I do). I am one of those people who eat food based on the time of the day. Like, oh! It’s 2pm, it’s time for lunch. I’m that bad. I may go for 12 hours before I realize I haven’t yet eaten a meal. Not watching my weight or any of such, it’s just a bad eating habit.

Anyway, so I’m carrying on like I own the food world, eating anytime I like, (even late into the night at 2 am – when I’m reading), until one morning, I develop a severe abdominal pain. I was in my fourth year, I had just had breakfast and was coming back to class for more lectures, when I suddenly doubled over in pains. My friends helped me get to the nearest consulting room where the doctor made a diagnosis of peptic ulcer disease. He advised me to eat better and I agreed, took the prescription of drugs he’d written, thanked him and went away.

I wish I had been a good listener back then, because frankly, I couldn’t adhere to his advice for more than a month. At every stage of clinicals, till my housejob, I always had to meet up with something before 8am. It wasn’t until my youth service year, 5 years ago, that I finally decided to take my health a bit more seriously and listen to the advice of so many people (doctors, mother, father, relatives) at the time.

One thing my father said stuck to my memory. He said: “Nne daddy, (as he fondly calls me) the only reason we leave our homes every morning to go and work, is so that we get money to put food on the table. If you don’t eat, you can’t work and if you can’t work, you are no longer beneficial to your patients. And guess what, if you drop dead one day from hypoglycaemia (low sugar in the blood), those same patients will move on to the next doctor. Only a few would stop for 1-minute silence”. My mum concluded by saying that “even 2 slices of bread in the morning is better than nothing, as breakfast is the most important meal of the day”.

So today, I have a small flask that I take to work with me everyday, and make sure that its contents are deposited in my stomach, latest 9am. And if anyone tries to hassle me, I just smile and repeat the words of advice of my parents in my mind. I would love to know, do you miss your breakfast?

HEAD COVERING: TO BE OR NOT TO BE

Yesterday, I went to church for the Easter mass, somewhere along the line, I noticed a lady who was wearing skinny jeans, tank top and a jacket made of Ankara material with her hair uncovered. I wondered why she had picked out that particular outfit to wear on Easter Sunday. For those who are not Christians, Easter is almost like Christmas for us. Infact, as a child, my mum used to buy us Easter clothes. As I grew older, I saved my best outfit from Christmas to wear on Easter Sunday, just in case I couldn’t get a new one at Easter. So now you understand my confusion over the girl’s choice of outfit. I was actually wondering if that was her best outfit. Looking at her, I could guess that she could have gotten something more appropriate if she wanted to.

Moving on, at Communion time, she got up and joined the queue. I told my husband that what she was doing wouldn’t be tolerated in the east or in Benin for that matter; because she would have been turned back at the gate and she definitely will not be queuing for Communion if she managed to escape the people at the gate because the priest would turn her back. My husband replied that the priest would definitely turn her back and then we looked on. At this time, I noticed many more women on the queue for Communion, properly and elegantly dressed with hair uncovered. Guess what, each and everyone of them received the Holy Communion.

I asked my husband if we were indeed still in a catholic church and was told that we were. What I can’t understand (pardon me) is why the need to show off your hair? Of all the women with uncovered hair yesterday, I didn’t see one hair style that caught my attention. I know that these new generation churches advice that you come as you are to church, but for goodness sake, you can show God some respect for a few hours in an entire week! It’s a different issue if you needed to suddenly go to church from work and you had no choice but to go as you are. But, if you planned to go to church and you dressed up from home, I see no reason for picking too tight jeans or minis and definitely no reason for leaving your hair uncovered.

Well, that’s just my point of view, what do you think?

BLACK & WHITE BEDDINGS COLLECTION

Good morning everyone and welcome to a new week with exciting possibilities.  The A - Z blooging challenge kicks off in barely 2 days. It is my first time on the challenge , and Isincerely hope I pull it off! I hope you would also join me on this journey for a month. Over the course of the next one month, I'd be writing posts on 'medical drama' - my theme for the a - z blogging challenge. However, I'd occasionally write some unrelated articles (the regular stuff I usually write about - food, fashion, decor and whatever comes to mind). So, on some days, I'd write and publish twice. (Please bear with me).

Last week, I gave a little teaser on the beddings I've been working on, I also promised to be back with more. Today, I present to you, my black and white collection! A few of them have a pop of color - red. It was originally meant for my winter 2014 collection, but things didn’t pan out then. Glad it's all good now though. Here they are, have fun.

Let me know what think.

Cheers......

WHAT MAKES YOU LOOK AND FEEL SEXY?

Hey everyone,

Enough of all the sad real life issues, it's time for some fun stuff. Ladies, this is one of those posts you get to sit down, relax and read. Guys, you can join in too and air your views. You are the ones we try so hard to look sexy for most times, no? So, quick question, "what makes you feel sexy?"

There is this perception by ladies that the more skin we expose, the sexier we appear. So it's more boobs, more legs, no sleeves at all, plunging necklines e.t.c. To many other folks, it's about the "assets", the bigger the boobs, the bum or the hips, the better. This is the reason I believe, we have ladies developing low self esteem over issues that shouldn't arise and running to plastic surgeons (qualified and unqualified) for implants. 

Recently, for some reason, what seems to appeal to many, including the guys, is an independent lady. Someone who knows what she's about.. someone who knows her onions. She has to look and be smart at the same time. Gone are the medieval times when all that mattered about women were their looks.

I believe that a sexy woman should be smart and hot. She is one that can joggle her job/career, family, housework e.t.c. at the same time without breaking out a sweat. Wouldn’t that be nice? Anyway, sweat or not, be sexy is very important to both a men and women. Whether you are a career lady or a housewife, undergraduate or graduate, employed or unemployed, it is essential to have something that makes you uniquely you and that is sexy.

As to what to wear to make you look sexy, well, like I said, scanty, undersized clothes doesn’t make anyone look sexy. It makes you look trashy. If you don’t believe me, picture a guy in jumpey trousers with the waist so small it doesn’t button up properly, a shirt so small, the sleeves are short of the wrist, asking you out on a date. What would your response be? Better still, maybe he has cut-outs on some strategic (not so pleasant) areas on his clothes. What would you think of him. Please, disregard whatever it is you see on music videos, movies and some red carpet events. I am almost certain that majority of these people don’t go out dressed the same way. So, do not end up appearing desperate for attention in the name of looking sexy.

A sexy woman should be whatever she wants to be, but unfortunately, she shouldn’t wear whatever the hell she wants to wear. Many of us feel sexy in many different ways. Have you ever woken up so happy, feeling sexy with a skip to your step, feeling like you can do anything? It may have just been the perfume you were wearing, or a set of matching lingerie, a beautiful nightie you slept in e.t.c. do you thing? I love to hear from you, let me know what makes you feel sexy. I feel sexy when I’m on heels. It makes me feel like the world is my runway and I can accomplish anything.

Finally, cleanliness is next to sexiness. You simply can't be dirty, disorganised and sexy. It just doesn't combine well. Hope you enjoyed reading this, let me know what you think.

Cheers......

WHY DO WOMEN CHANGE AFTER MARRIAGE?

A very long time ago, women married at the age of 15 and 16, and anyone above 20 years of age was seen as already too old to bear children and "on the shelf". These same women, if unlucky in their marriages, either stood on the sidelines and bore the pains of a bad marriage or they opted out of the marriage by committing suicide at the risk of been buried in unconsecrated ground. As the decades rolled by, and the female folks were allowed into the school rooms, the new ideal age for getting married moved to 25 years. I remember how I used to get worried about aunts who did not get hooked by age 25. Today, we have women empowerment and feminism and the new age target for getting married is 30 years and some even say above. Also, these new age women mostly have a source of income, so they can easily say to a potential husband, "be gone, I do not need you, I can take care of myself" over very trivial matters. These days, you would hardly find girls who are thinking of marriage at 20 years and if the thought does cross their minds, they have handy friends to dislodge such a "crazy" notion immediately. These friends, I guess always mean well even when their excuse for you not to get married is "we never rock life finish".

Enough of all my rantings, and on to the reason for today's post. I noticed the high rate of divorce and separations in marriages, and truthfully, it is alarming. It begs for answers to the question, "how did our parents do it?" Many of our parents have been married for over 25 - 40 years. I do not think I've ever heard my mother tell my dad that she could cater for her own needs, or rub in her family background or education. Somehow, they are able to resolve their issues amicably. It then brings me to these questions;

• Did our parents not bring us up as well as their parents did them?
• Did we just refuse to pay attention to their words of advice?
• Are we too concerned with the butterflies in our stomach and "fireworks and sparks" in the name of love, than the real issues? 
• Is it a modern generation thing? 
• Is it because women now have jobs outside the home? 
• Did You Get Why Married (The Reasons)?

Guess what? It does not matter what the answers to these questions are, because when a marriage is broken, it is automatically the fault of the woman (whether we like it or not). It's either she works too much, does not take care of the home, disrespects her husband, she is now fat and the list is endless. Bottomline, she has changed. She was not that way when he married her. Amazing! I often wonder if the man did not change. Something very important from my research, is that many young ladies enter into marriage with unrealistic ideas. The worst of these ideas is the "I can change him" syndrome. I actually believe that this is a possible mission, but only for the lucky 1%. Adults (men and women alike) who are usually set in their ways done change unless they consciously decide to or there is a divine invention. So ladies, if you think you can change him, think again.

Another thing is certain, most men are chauvinistic by nature and want to be on top everytime (right or wrong). By this, I have concluded that men do run the world, (don't pay any to mind that Beyoncé's song), but we color the world. I have come to realize that, even though I may not want to accept it wholeheartedly. One quick example, George Clooney remained a veritable bachelor till last year when he got married at 53 years (If you do not count his 1st marriage). He could afford to bet that he would not have kids till a certain age. This did not stop him from dating (and now marrying) hot women.Women on the other hand, would start counting how long we have till our reproductive life is over. We just do not have the luxury.

Now to the reason why I say women change after marriage, these are just a few observations I've made concerning women and marriage. 

• We act all nice and lovely while planning to show our true colors once we have been married. It's no wonder the male folks say 'she was not like that when we were dating'. If you can not be your true self when you are with someone, why would you want to marry that person? Why try so hard to please him when you are dying to explode inside? It's no use. So, My First Rule To A Successful Marriage Is BE YOURSELF.

• If he slaps you once a month before you marry him, be sure to start getting a daily dose once you are married. Like I said, men do not change after marriage. However, I think it should be the other way round. Men do change after marriage, majority of them for the worst. I do not know why, but I guess they also feel it's time to do whatever they want since you can almost not threaten them with a breakup. So secondly, if you know you can not tolerate a habit or behaviour when you are dating, why do you think you can live with it for the rest of your life? Do not marry a man for the wrong reason. Screen and separate the seed from the chaff before making the decision of who to marry. CHOOSE WISELY.

• Many women are hot before they get married, then they get married and start tying wrapper at home. I mean, did he ask you out when you were shabby looking? We think we are now married, no need to dress up. I tell you solemnly, men are like babies, if you fail to keep his attention on you then he would focus it elsewhere. LOOK ALWAYS HOT !!! ...

• My mother always says the way to a man's heart is through his belly. Well anatomical, that does not pan out, but there is some logic in it. Men love great meals. I think it's ancestral or something. COOK TASTY MEALS.

• I listened to a song once and the singer (a man) wanted a woman who could be a lady by day and a freak by night. I laughed but it is the really we live in. A man wants a woman who can be his mother, sister, friend, wife and baby. Ladies if you would allow yourselves think about it, we too want a man who can be our daddy, brother, bestfriend, husband and child. It's just the way the world goes. BE PREPARED.

• Why do we complain about working and doing all the house chores while he watches TV while sipping a cold beer? Find a way around it. Do not nag, do not criticize, ask for help. Find ways to involve him in some of the homework. Explain how tired you are at the end of each day. If you must criticize, then there is a formula to that - The SANDWICH. Place the criticism between 2 positive statements; Like honey, I know how hard you work to provide for me and you must be tired, but if you could just keep me company in the kitchen, help me maybe dry the plates, I'd be very happy, I miss being with you all day. BE CREATIVE

• Now to the breaker of many homes - SEX. I know some men are what we call dogs, (no offense). They chase everything that looks like a woman. Sometimes though, it is our faults. Men are sexual creatures, so they can wake up at 2am and want to go. Women on the other hand are romantics. We want him to understand what we are not saying because we expect him to read our body language. Well, I think we better start talking and stop signaling. I know how tiring it can be to wake up way early to meet up with morning preparations, especially if you have children who need to be fed and be at school early enough. Yourself, who is a working mother and you have to come home and continue the process till midnight everyday. Sex would be the last thing on you mind (that's if it's even there). Despite these mirade of issues, try not to deprive your man of sex or he will look for a place to get it and it would only hurt you in the end. EMBRACE YOUR SEXUALITY

• We are human beings and we are bound to disagree on issues but I have learnt that even though the violent taketh it by force, silence is golden. It is best sometimes silent and to avoid any words that could be impossible to take back once said. Also, sorry never hurt anyone. Learn to use these very important words.  SILENCE AND SORRY

• Friends can be good, but they can also be destructive. Friends have been some known to be the destruction of many marriages, their tactics range from giving you bad advice to outrightly stealing your husband right from under your nose. Mind the kind of people you invite into your home. And on no account should you allow a 3rd party into your marriage. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WITH CARE.

• Lastly, not everyone is happy that somehow, in this difficult world of 7 billion people you were able to locate your missing rib. BE PRAYERFUL.

Women! We are extraordinary creatures, we may not run the world, but we make it go round and we sure do color it. Happy women's day

Cheers ....

THE CURE IS IN YOUR HANDS

When I was in clinical medical school, there was one thing I was sure of doing whenever I went home for the brief holidays. It was the simple task of checking my grandma's blood pressure, then of course, that of every person in the house, (whether they needed it or not). Grandma was hypertensive and some reason, my mum always told me to tell her that all was well with her no matter what recording I got. When I asked why? She'd simply reply; that's what the family's doctor does. His explanation for not telling her the truth picture of her ailment was that it would scare her, or cause her more anxiety and as such elevate the blood pressure to an even higher and more dangerous level. To me at that time, it was a perfect reason and a wonderful practice. I pocketed it as one of the lessons learned on my way to becoming a great doctor. Nobody wants to be mediocre!

As I progressed in the medical field and started to practice, I saw that this was a practice by many people. A man is sick, on admission with cancer or whatever terminal illness you can think of and the family says; "don't tell him, he'll die faster". Another person has diabetes or hypertension (high blood pressure) and the same story goes. I began to wonder how the relatives can manage them without them (the patient) realizing that he is sick. Is it possible to give a person drugs or change the diet without him asking why? Well, unless that person is unconscious.

Overtime, I discovered that there was a high percentage of patients who weren't adherent to their treatment plans. Whether it was medications or a change in diet or even exercise. They come back every clinic day with the same problems, the blood pressure or blood sugar is going higher no matter how many drugs these patients are on. For example, you see them today, give then 2 drugs and give a 1 month appointment. They show up with elevated BP, you add another drug and another and another until you can add no more. Lol. The simple thing that has happened is that you prescribe drugs, they leave your consulting room (sometimes dissatisfied with services rendered), hiss and dump your prescription till the next clinic day. In a place like the one I work, you can come 4 times and meet 4 different doctors. Sometimes, they hope to me a different doctor and hope for a different approach.

My choice to go for a residency training in family medicine is one that I won't regret anytime soon. In family medicine, we are thought to look at the patient's illness from the patient's point of view, then treat using medical knowledge. We realized that a patient is a human being just like anyone of us and would desire to be treated as such. If you are a medical doctor and your are reading this, ask yourself this simple questions;

• How would you like to me treated if you fall ill?
• If it was any of your friends or relatives on the sick bed, what would your reaction be?

We are thought to look at the patient and his illness in the context of his family and vice versa. We do not forget that the patient has religious beliefs especially in a place like Nigeria. We learn how to communicate with people, counsel them and break bad news. The act of managing a "difficult" patient is not something you can do without. With all these said, we have one problem. It is a problem that plagues every doctor and infact the health sector. It is TIME! Patients are maybe the only group of people who have been wrongly titled. Have you ever heard the phrase, "patients are not patient?" so true. They are in the waiting area, ranting that the doctor is taking up so much time with one patient, then they go in and refuse to come out and the cycle goes on. Lol. The doctor tries to compensate and then misses out on the need to adequately counsel the patient and just prescribes drugs, hoping to get a better chance by the next visit, and..... then we are back to the scenario painted earlier.

The moment I realized this defect, I decided it was time to refresh some of the things I'd learned over the years. In my mind, it was time to empower these people with the simple truth they deserved. Why hide information and continue to mismanage a patient? To tell you the truth, contrary to what had been in practice, these people want to know the truth. I adapted a few strategies to work around the time constraint and patient's demand.

First, I divide the patients into 2 major groups as the consultation begins;

• The ones with acute illnesses that will recover completely with medications and no sequelae e.g. people who present with strictly malaria or straight forward urinary tract infection. 
• Those who have chronic diseases, terminal illnesses, emotional or family problems. E.g. diabetes, hypertension, asthma, peptic ulcer e.t.c.

The first group I see in a bit of a hurry, minimal counselling and off they go. The second group, the reason this post, I have to counsel extensively, sometimes over several visits. They are always the reason a developed my rule to counselling a patient. It is my 80/20 rule.

Secondly, I apply my 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule is simple. Just let the individual know from the onset that his recovery is totally up him. I tell my patients with chronic diseases this so they can step it up a notch. Many come to me feeling dejected and I let them know that the battle is up to them to decide if they fight and if they want to win. My favorite line simply corresponds to "when life throws you lemon, you make lemonades". Sometimes, I tell them that my job ends with making the right diagnosis and implementing the correct treatment plan, but it is entirely up to them to follow through or not.

Thirdly, I do not fail to employ something I learnt about counselling a patient with a chronic medical condition while in medical school. They need to know the cause of the illness from you the expert. You don't want them getting infomation from relatives or babalawo (native doctor), that will be the downfall of your management. They need to know the course of this illness. How will it progress? Any there any complications? What are the treatment modalities?

The patient leaves the consultation feeling satisfactied, empower and much better. They leave you with many thanks and a heart full of joy for a job well done. This post is to tell you! that you have every single right to know what you are been managed for, the right to know to names of the medication(s) you are given. People have died from not knowing the name of their medications. Families have been torn apart because the bread winner didn't get to know he was dying enough to make a will before the time.

Empower yourself today and take charge. The CURE is in your hands......
Cheers........

FOOD FRIDAY: NIGERIAN VEGETABLE SAUCE

It's been a while since I wrote anything on food, so, I thought I might do so today, today been Friday and all. Today, another Nigerian dish is stewing on the stove and I thought I might share it with you. I am a food lover! My friends and relatives always wonder where all the food I eat end up. Lol!!! Since getting married though, my love for experimenting with food has doubled mostly because the darling man also loves whatever my experiments yield.

So back to the crust for the day; the Nigerian vegetable sauce. I have written on something similar but this one has a different taste to it because I changed one ingredient.

INGREDIENTS:

• Fresh tomatoes
• Fresh pepper
• Onions

• Fish (preferably dried or smoked)

• Groundnut or vegetable oil (low cholesterol)
• Crayfish

• Vegetables (pumpkin or green leaf), spinach would also do just fine.

• Seasoning cubes and
• Salt

HOW TO PREPARE:

First of all, get all your ingredients washed and prepared. Chop up the tomatoes and Onions. You can either grind the fresh pepper or chop it up. To avoid the pepper getting into your eyes after chopping it up, I usually advice you use grounded or blended pepper. It can be very difficult washing the peppery stuff off your hands. (This actually happened to me, it wasn't funny). Also grind the crayfish, and per-boil the dried fish. 

Place your saucepan on the burner and allow to dry. Add about 50ml (1 cooking spoonful) of the vegetable oil and allow it to heat up. (Please allow the pan to dry before adding the oil unless you want to suddenly become kung-fu fighter, dodging the splashes of hot water). After the oil has heated up a bit, add your onions, (garlic, if you like), crayfish and stir. Add the fresh pepper and fresh tomatoes. Personally, I allow these to dry up a bit too. (I don't like soggy tomatoes). Then, add the fish and stir.

Add your seasoning and salt to taste, then add the vegetables. If you are using spinach, you may not allow it dry, because if you do you might be losing the nutrients that the other ingredients have to offer. Stir your mixture, allow the vegetables to soften up a bit and you are done.

Best served with yam or plantain (fried or boil) or rice.

Enjoy....

AYO ORITSEJAFOR AND THE $9.3M ARMS DEAL

Hey there everyone,

Yesterday, I was so bored, I decided to check out some stuff on facebook, see who has decided to go crazy and who is still sane, (just joking). I stumbled upon a discussion (actually a heated argument) concerning the president of #CAN, pastor Ayo Oritsejafor and the said $9.3m money laundering. The argument started because someone was asking for patience from Nigerians for South Africa to conclude their investigations before persecuting the pastor. Many people reacted to that statement in many ways. Some for against and others pro-Ayo. 

Many cited instances where patience has led us nowhere, like in the cases of Stella Oduah or Diezani Alison Madueke. Should I talk of Farouk and the subsidy money? What about that guy that stole pension  funds worth N2.3billion? Did I forget to mention Diepreye Alamieyeseigha? He's now running for senate. The list is endless. My point of discussion is however, not for these ones. 

I have refrained from writing anything about the matter, for two reasons. 

1) He is a "man of God" and Go said "touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm" (1 Chronicles 16:22)

2) God also said "Judge not that ye may not be judge." (Matthew 7).

That said, I just have a few questions to ask?

• Why was the jet leased out in the first place? I thought it was "private"? When did it become a commercial thing?
• Who made money from the leasing, someone asked? Well, not sure it was the church. Many people say, it is his and he can do what ever he wants with it.
• Another person said private jets are expensive to maintain, so instead of leaving it in the hanger, it was better to lease it out. Also that he already leased it out 1 month prior to the incident. I don't think it is by force to accept all gifts, or to keep it after accepting if it becomes a burden. Sometime ago, on TV, the pastor came on air to justify the reasons why private jets have become a necessity for the men of God. He said they needed it to meet up with their numerous duties and appearing in many crusades, without having to be disappointed by our wonderful airlines. I understand this, but if he needed it to carry out all these functions, why lease it out for more than 1 month now?
• Can money transfer not be done electronically? I thought we are now in the jet age, where cashless society is the order of the day. Why transport that amount of money in cash?
• The FG accepts that they borrowed the plane, I thought the FG had up to 11 planes in their fleet?
• What are the major arms dealing countries in the world? How many of them do you really need to pass through South Africa to get to? 
• If they were really going to buy arms to combat the bokos, why was there no military personnel in the plane? Shebi, them for at least help to inspect wetin them they buy?
• Finally, Does our leaders think that all Nigerians are fools?

Be warned guys, I don't know anything about the South African judiciary system, but.hmhm.... *clears throat*. The law is not always about truth. The winner or loser is derived from how much evidence is brought up against or for you. So, whatever the outcome, I will accept it, God is the ultimate judge. I take my bow at this point.

Bye....