WARRING WITHIN ME

Hello everyone!

I know it's been quiet for awhile. Quite unlike me with my almost everyday posts, right? Well, I've been at war with myself. I'm having a bit of an internal conflict and I'm guessing you'll help me resolve it, if I ask nicely. Right? As most of  you already know, I am a medical doctor, specializing in family medicine. I started designing and custom making beddings, which gradually progressed to involve other aspects of interior decor. That was for a year prior to the onset of my residency training programme.

I started the programme, and it didn't slow down my commitment to my business. People marveled at how I could keep both of them going at the same time. Somehow, I did and it was no bother at all. Then, along came blogging. It became another addiction to me. Just like watching television, (and I mean watching almost anything on TV), or reading a good romance novel. Some of you also know the story of why and how I started blogging. If you don't then click here for more details.

VS

Enough about the intro, now to the conflict. Sometime late last year, with all the holidays and festivities in the air, most people focused most of their posts on thanksgiving, Christmas, new year, giveaways e.t.c. They were fun to read and sometimes inspiring. Some other people decided to take a break. That's also fun and fine with me. Everything got very quiet including things at the hospital. That was also a welcome situation. Everything put together gave me sometime to think things over and try to put things in perspective.

You and I both know how addictive blogging can be, with the need to promote our blogs and increase traffic. Especially for someone like me who has addictive tendencies, trust me it's not even funny. (Which is why by the way, I'll never smoke anything. *LOL*). So right now, my brothers and colleagues can't stop teasing me about having 4 full time jobs, namely;

• Medical doctor
• Interior designer
• Blogger
• House work among other things.

My schedule became even tighter with shortage of doctors and nurses at the hospital. Additional "stay in the hospital" time was also added for the training programme. I believe I am over-worked. So I decided to make some of it part time, and have only one full time job. I'd love to hear your inputs on this. Which would you want me to make my full-time job? I have a feeling I already know. Like duh.... 

This might take away time from my regular blogging, but I'll try to post something when I can and I promise it would be great. Still got some things on the pipeline.

Cheers.....

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS: AN INTERNATIONAL RITUAL

We make them at the end of every year and break most of them before the new year runs out. Yep! They are our new year resolutions. Sometimes they consists of things we promise ourselves to achieve, other times, they are things we promise not to repeat again. The basic thing though is we all promise to do better, to strive to be better us.

At the end of the year in Nigeria, churches hold services of prayers, praise and worship. It's called the cross-over service. I don't know if this holds for other parts of the world. Lots of people try their best to attend these services whether they know the relevance of it or not. (I have attended a total of two of these services my entire life). Usually, the whole family, sometimes including the extended family (when we do make the trip to the village), gather together for 11:30 pm and pray till 1 am. Then we take "pepper soup" and go to bed.

Back to the church issue, some attend these services to thank God for the last year and pray for his mercies for the new year. Others attend because their friends and families are attending. The funny group are those who attend so it seems the started off the year on a good note and end up in the emergency with a laceration because they had a fight in a club, barely 2 hours after exiting the church premises.

It's okay to take look back, see what mistakes have been made and see what could be learned from them. They is however no point dwelling on those mistakes because, you'll only end up dragged back down. I just got home from work at 9 pm. That was almost 2 hours ago. While some people where hurrying to church, others wanted to spend time at one hangout joint or another. I get home and the kitchen is very busy. Apparently we have guests coming tomorrow.

Now there are about 6 churches around the location where my house is. (That's the fastest way of making money in the country I guess). So they have already started their vigil and I had to listen to many different songs and preaching at the same time. There also a few hangout places in the vicinity and they were busy blasting away their music. The children in their various homes were busy throwing carbide to indicate their presence. (For the benefits of those who don't know, carbides are miniature cigarette looking strips the contain the chemical "carbide" or some gunpowder that make a terribly loud noise when lit with a match. Other names are bangard or knockout). Interesting isn't it?

While all these commotion is going on, I'm busy writing this blog. So if I make some mistakes, just kindly point them out and they'll be corrected. Like I told you in my Christmas experience, I didn't I was going to escape being on call on new year's day. And so it is, I'm on call tomorrow.

Anyhow I'm just here to say we shouldn't wait till the 31st of every year to make our changes. We can do them anytime within the year. The year doesn't end at the beginning of the year, contrary to our many beliefs. It ends the day we die or a time God almighty decides. A time we do not know. That liver disease may not wait for you to make your resolution to stop drinking alcohol at the end of the year before it knocks on your door.
My new year resolution is the same every year and every month and everyday;

• To remain eternally thankful.
• To strive to be better in every way. 
• To know God, love him and serve him better.
• To aim always for the best believing with all my heart.

I'm also here to wish you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!.... Have fun and God bless ya!

Cheers.....

FLYING: ALWAYS AN ORDEAL

Last week Friday, I went to Lagos for a friend's wedding. It was by air, partly because it's the fastest means of travel. (As we were all taught in elementary school). And partly because it was a free ticket. Couldn't let it go to waste. Anyway, I needed to pop in and out fast and accomplish some other stuff in between. They also say it's the safest. (Haven't gotten around to totally agreeing with that yet, cause flying scares the living day light out of me). Seriously!!

Something else flying does to me is that, it totally grounds me. It's just amazing to me how a huge metal carrying loads of people and luggage, takes off, is suspended in air at thousands of feet for long hours and lands elsewhere. It definitely defies the law of gravity. (Yea, I know the process of how a plane manages to do all that has been explained many times. It's still amazing to me). Another amazing aspect to it, is when you see the wonders of the works of God all around you. The seas, clouds, rainforest, desert e.t.c. Amazing right? You just have to believe there is a God.

Now to my phobias;

• I hate small planes. They call it jets here, I don't know what to call it. Unfortunately for me, last week, I travelled in one of those. To and fro. The return journey was worse.
• I hate the take-off and landing periods. The take-off makes me feel like I'm going to get throw to the back of the plane. The landing jars my teeth and entire body.
• I absolutely hate being seated at the back seat. I call it the booth. With small planes, even at seat 10, you are already in the booth.
• I hate those semi-drops it makes especially soon after take-off and just before landing. It makes me feel like my brain dropped to my chest and my heart just had to move lower to my stomach.
• When the planes are almost empty, I think it's worse. (I don't know how please don't ask).
• With the small planes, those with visible propellers, you feel very single move the plane makes. On my return journey, I was seated at a window seat, near the wing and propellers. As I looked on. sometimes, it looked like the propeller slowed down. I prayed until we landed and my feet touched the ground.

I had a experience once that made me almost swear off flying. That was back in 2011. I was flying from Abuja to Benin, feeling like a big chic. The flight got delayed by 3 hours (technical issues, they said). The terrifying aspect was just immediately after take-off. Within a few minutes of take-off, we felt the first drop. It was a huge one. Some people in the flight yelled, others gasped. In the very next nanosecond (not exaggerating), a second, even larger drop. This time everyone yelled. I thought we were crashing. I started praying. A 45 minute- 1 hour flight was done in 30 minutes. Surprising the landing was smooth. When we touched down, the whole passengers poured into the aisle and started bowing down and thanking God. obviously, I wasn't alone in thinking we were going to crash. Looking back now, it's funny. *LOL*.

Kudos to the pilots that flew me this last time. It wasn't their fault the plane was small. If you enjoy flying, more grease to your elbows. Maybe someday, I'll do too.

Cheers......

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Usually, on Fridays I write about food or fashion. Today, I decided to skip it for a post on the thanksgiving holidays. The post would have come earlier too, but it looks like the PHCN staff learnt nothing from the event that took place yesterday. As they refused to supply us with power through out today and the battery of my laptop ran out. Click here to read the event on the PHCN issue.

There are lots of holidays that go on around the world that Africans don't bother themselves with. (The ones we consider the "oyibo" holidays). "Oyibo" being the Nigerian term for "White Man". For example, Halloween, Thanksgiving and a few others. However, there is one I strongly believe everyone around the world should take part in and that's the thanksgiving holiday. We all have one reason or another to be thankful for. If you can't think of anything in particular, then just remember that you are alive today and reading this post. Life is something no one can add to themselves, just the way you can't make a single strand of hair grow on your head.

This year, I have so much to be thankful for. Amidst lots of trials and temptations, we (my family and I) came out victorious.There are some events that didn't go as planned, yet I'm thankful to God. You never know what the future holds, right? As the saying goes, "in everything, give thanks." Another thing I am thankful for this year is the arrival of my brand new niece yesterday. Isn't that just awesome? Anyway, I think this is one holiday Africans and in particular Nigerians should adopt. Instead of totally ignoring it and carrying on with life like "no man's business". Don't you think?

Finally, Thanksgiving is also associated with family dinners, turkey and pumpkin pie. So, I guess it somehow qualifies for "Food Friday". Have a fabulously Happy Thanksgiving guys!!!

Cheers.....

HELP SAVE A LIFE TODAY

If you've read my earlier blogs, then you'll know Mr. Emma Ugolee. He is a Nigerian friend I met while was in India early last year. He is also the inspiration behind the article "an idea" and "jokes extraordinaire". You would also have read my posts "help save vincent please" and "brief flashback and appreciation". It's about a boy you all helped save through your prayers and donations. He made it through and is doing well now.

I do not run a non-governmental organization, neither do I belong to any activist groups but in situations like this, when I see young people sick, suffering and dying, mostly due to lack of funds and through no direct fault of theirs, I have to speak up and lend a voice to the voiceless. And so, I'm sorry but I have come to ask for your help once again in saving a life.

21year Emmanuel (standing) with my friend Emma Ugolee

Last night, I got a text message from my dear friend, Emma Ugolee and this is what it read;

• "Today was one of those days when grumpy is too weak a term to describe the mood. Money on my mind like mad. The craving to raise a few millions and get this transplant over and done with. Yea, I have got CKD (chronic kidney disease). Yea! it makes the death nap seem welcome sometimes. I know, I know... 'Emma stop sounding negative, it's worse for some people'. The easiest thing to say till the shoes are worn. By the way, do I really know anyone who has it worse? Well, back to the annoying routine of dialysis. I went to the hospital and barely noticed the nurses who were stretching out squeezed 500 and 200 naira notes. Thinking it was for the normal KFC lunch, I asked them to count me in for a piece of crispy chicken. They said it wasn't for lunch but contributions to help pay for dialysis for a 21 year old boy who was N10,000 short for his session. Felt my pocket, did a cash inventory and voilaaa!!! After my bill, there was left exactly N10,200. I dropped it on the table and said "keep una money abeg" (meaning keep your money please). 5 minutes later, the door was banged open with such force, I almost jumped off my bed. Robbers? A fight? before I could figure it out, an elderly lady and 2 young men went on their knees. 3 pairs of crying eyes pouring every blessing thinkable on me. I was so embarrassed, all I could keep saying was "No Ma, Amen, Please Ma, Amen, No Ma, Get up Ma, Amen". She was his aunt. He had missed dialysis for 2 sessions. He is an only son who lost his dad a few years ago and his mum joined his dad 3 months ago. And she who I thought was his aunt turned out to be the old lady of a friend. He was a semi hostage before I came in. Oh my! I offered to do 1 more session on Monday and the tears were released a lot more. My tears were held back as an ebubedike (strong man) until I asked for his name and he said "Emmanuel". Come see me dey cry. I promised him I would ask for him as well everywhere I try to raise funds. After the rivers were cried, I looked at my God and said "please forgive me, I do not have it worse. I'm sorry for not being grateful. Thank you". 
• What's your pain? Do you know that even with it you are among the fortunate? please always give thanks..... Emma Ugolee

I understand that not all my readers are Nigerians or reside in Nigeria and may not be able to help out by making financial donations. You can do your sharing of helping by putting him in your prayers. You can also call him up (the 21 year old Emanuel) and give him some words of encouragement. Here is his phone number - +2348053283932

To make your donations, pay into his account. Details listed below

Account name: ODUTOLA EMMANUEL OLUWASEUN 

Account Number: 0018164155

Bank: Guaranty Trust Bank (GTB)

I have called him and he was extremely grateful. Very nice young man. Remember that the greatest investment you'll ever make is that of investing in someone's life.

Thank you

SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED....AND IT'S NOT ABOUT WEDDING

I've been very busy on Google+ lately, visiting other blogs too and learning some incredibly new stuff (learning on blogging). I seem to have gotten almost all the solutions to my questions about blogging this week and then some. It is therefore true what the holy Bible says about "Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened up to you".

Usually, it's enough to comment on the blog or 1+ or reshare the post on Google+. These under-listed blog articles made me change my mind about just re-sharing though. I believe they deserve a bigger recognition and audience and I'm here to do my bit. Read through and let me know if you don't think so. Remember we are here to help each other out.

• Painting with stencils by +Holly Makowski  - http://diyideablogs.blogspot.com/2013/11/painting-your-floors-with-stencils.html#SuVDQV4Gl07yefSc.99
• Schedule Posts on Blogger by +Incredible Divya  - http://connectionwithmedia.blogspot.com/2013/11/Schedule-post-on-blogger.html
• How to post in blogger pages by +Incredible Divya  - http://connectionwithmedia.blogspot.com/2013/10/how-to-post-in-blogger-pages.html
• How I got my domain name by +Sierra Calah  - http://www.beautyqueenuk.co.uk/2013/08/how-i-got-my-own-domain-name.html
• Our guide to adding bloglovin to your blog by +Laura Greenwood  - http://ab4b.blogspot.com/2013/11/our-guide-to-adding-bloglovin-to-your.html
• Tips to increasing your miles per gallons by +Rahul Sharma  - http://www.webologypedia.com/2013/10/miles-per-gallon-or-mpg-comparison-22.html (I had to treat my car better after reading his blog). He also has cool information on blogging and social media

If you have gone through and you believe you have a post that can make the cut and is worthy to join the list then hit me up on my emails (visit the contact tab) and send me a link to the post.

Cheers....

CELEBRATIONS AND THEN AN ECLIPSE

I was in the middle of typing a blog post to be posted tomorrow for tips Tuesday (been at it all week by the way), when a thought crossed my mind. Suddenly I realized that in places like the United States of America and many countries around the world, Halloween just passed, properly celebrated. Don't know what day exactly, think it was yesterday and then Thanksgiving around the corner. I feel the enthusiasm of the preparations all the way over here in Africa. *Lol*. India Just celebrated their Diwali yesterday, confirmed by my mum and brother how much fun they had. Now Nigeria gets an eclipse, Not even a full good one at that! I'm outraged!!!

Diwali

Halloween

I was almost at the end of a very busy call, eager to get home and rest when I got a text message saying there was to be an eclipse of the sun from 1 - 4 pm in certain cities of the country including the one I reside in (apparently I missed the news broadcast when it aired previously). Being an adventure freak, naturally I was excited. My eagerness to get home doubled because I wanted to be at home when it happened. Unfortunately I drove out of the hospital at 2:30 pm and the hot sun was in full blast. I began to wonder when the said eclipse was to start. 2 pm was supposed to be the peak period for goodness sake! Still the sun shone on.

I noticed suddenly as I drove home that the sun cooled and the day grew grey on one side and it remained bright in front. Okay, I thought, it would happen anytime soon. I got home and suddenly it cleared! What?! Was that it? My goodness, *pouf! deflated, all excitement gone, we couldn't even get a decent eclipse. 

I think this was the eclipse

The fun part came later, trust Nigerians not to let things slide that easily. The jokes started coming in, as texts, photos and blackberry display messages. Here are a few:

• JOKE* Imagine some Naija babes thought eclipse is a kind of anniversary and they be like.... What are you getting me for this Eclipse? - Faji Ugwuka
• JOKE* MTN (a telecommunication) just like your network service, you couldn't even give us full eclipse. mtscheeeewwwww (hiss) - Dannyboy Egbule
• JOKE* Finally eclipse in Lekki, Lagos *surprised expression* ...... Sorry please it's dirt on my glasses - Emma Ugolee
• JOKE* President Jonathan has set up a panel to investigate why the eclipse didn't become complete - Nwabueze Ogwuma
• PHOTO*  - Ike Okite

  

  This is someone's head by the way

Share your own private jokes here too. 

I really wished we had a full eclipse though

Cheers....

WHY DID I GET MARRIED?

This is a continuation of the relationship topics; making your relationship work and before you say I do, which I started writing on a few weeks back. I chose a heading that coincidentally is the title of a black-American movie I watched. I also chose this topic so we individually can ask ourselves the question;

•  WHY DID I GET MARRIED?

This question help us to put into perspective the reasons for having a relationship and working hard at it. I'll be writing this article again with my younger sister - +Cynthia Amaechi, she wrote the last one (before you say I do) with me too. I also got some info from my senior colleague - Dr. T.C. Ozoko

Working at your relationship doesn't have to be so difficult as a lot of people believe, it is also not a walk-over. The most important thing to realize is that every individual is made in a different way and they are unique in their own sense of the word. With this little bit of information, you find that you can't treat everyone the same way and you also can't expect the same types of reactions from them. Take a good look at yourself for instance, your habits and behaviour and ask yourself this question " Would I like me for who I am if I were someone else?" Be sincere with your answers and score yourself. If you realize you need some work then go ahead and fix them. Take me for example, I had severe anger issues but I'm working seriously on it and finding that I'm maturing in the process.

Some major issues come up after you get married, sometimes things you never discussed before the nuptials, things you just assumed will fall into place or assumed was the responsibility of the other person while that partner may have his/her own thoughts on the matter. To "ASSUME" they say makes an "ASS" of "U" and "ME". At this point, we've gotten beyond the point of whether love exist between both of you. However, sometimes love is not enough, hence you need to really work to make to your relationship work. Of these many issues a few come uppermost in m mind

• Finance: who bears the grunt of providing for the family? Without thought it is decided that it is the man, afterall he is the man of the house regardless of whether the woman earns more. What I have learnt very recently is this; both of the parties involved are responsible for the financial stability of a home. This theory is even supported by my bible in 1st Timothy 5:8 states that "Anyone who neglects to care for family members in need repudiates the faith. That's worse than refusing to believe in the first place." If you notice it said "ANYONE" not "ANY MAN". There was no reference to gender. Money doesn't belong to only one person in the family - man or woman. No, it belongs to both of them. Pull the income together, remove your expenditure for the month and save the rest. Guys this doesn't give you the right to take the lady for granted. If you lose her trust, it might be difficult to regain.
• Second main issue is the matter of sex! yes I said it. Many couples seem to not be able to get enough of each other before they say "I do", then they get married and all of a sudden, they are always too tired to get their groove on. Women are the worse for this and sometimes you can't blame them. If it's not work stress, then it's house stress or the children. To avoid such excuses, try to help your spouses out with house chores so they aren't worn out at the end of the day. Also spice it up! Go on date nights and all. Relive your prenuptial periods e.t.c.
• Hot on the heels of sex is the issue of infidelity. It is the killer of trust and most marriages. While men can claim that they can have sex with many women and not get attached emotionally, so their spouses should relax. They claim to have a polygamous nature and it's not their fault. You haven't seen them react to just a tiny smile given to another male by their wives. It is unbelievable. My theory, If you don't want someone to treat you a certain way, then don't do it to them. 

 

• Be independent: be single while married some prominent people have said including Myles Munroe and Michelle Obama and I strongly agree. Don't rely extensively on your spouse, you'll put too much pressure on him/her. Be your own person, be confident and comfortable in your own skin. Allow your spouse to be free to express themselves. They grow better and reach their full potentials that way. Give each other space to think and breathe.
• Trust: trust your partner and make them trust you. Have a united front so that gossip doesn't filter in. Work with evidence, not hearsay. You must be honest and transparent with each other. Trust each other enough to make yourselves next of kin. In many parts of Africa, women are still looked at as the lower species and you find situations in which the widow of a rich man suffers after his demise because he made a brother or cousin his next of kin.
• Communicate: No matter how strong your telepathic powers are, unless you can actually hear a person's thoughts like superman, then you don't know what they are thinking and they surely don't know yours. Let your views and opinions be known. So there is no excuse of ignorance.
• Guys protect your heart and emotions against temptations, if a woman toiled with you for many many years when you were a nobody and then you become successful and decide that it's time to chase all those other girls giving you the eye, think again they are just eyeing your brand new fat wallet. The rich ones (girls) want to spend your money infact they all want to spend your money but in different ways. The poor ones are looking for a way up and you are just a step in their ladder on their ascent. They both destroy your home. Same goes for you too ladies.

Finally some brief tips:

• A family that prays together, stays together.
• Fall in love with each other over and over and over again.
• Be happy.
• The basis for any human relationship is love not blood, remember the story of Cain and Abel?
• Don't try to change anybody: there is no perfect individual, love your partner perfectly because he/she might even change and not always for the better after marriage.
• The past is the past, let it remain in the past and forget about it.
• Learn to forgive each other and move on. It's a must!
• Constructive criticism for the purpose of growth is always better than harsh criticism to put one down. For instance instead of using insulting words and comparing with other people, use encouraging words.
• The purpose of argument should not be victory but progress.
• Life is like a disco, no matter how the music changes, just keep dancing.
• Don't make any important decisions when you are 
• Angry
• Confused
• Overjoyed or
• Haven't explored all other options
• Lastly, after all said and done, If someone doesn't want you in their lives, you can't force them to stay. Let them go.

DAILY EXPERIENCES: VIO vs FRSC vs NPF

Last week, I decided to include a section on posts on something that happened to me or something I learnt each day or as it happens. I decided to called the section "Today". However, it occurred to me today to change the name of the section. Two major names jumped at me

• Daily experiences
• Daily thoughts

Which of these 3 (Today, Daily experiences or Daily thoughts) do you prefer? Post a comment to let me know.

Yesterday, On my way back from work and headed to the salon to wash my hair, I ran into a bunch of law enforcement group who were stopping drivers and asking for vehicle and driver's particulars that is the vehicle's license, the driver's license, fire extinguisher, spare tire and all what naught. The group I ran into yesterday were the vehicle inspection officers (VIO), and they started their usually search. I was tired and in a hurry and seriously wasn't in the mood to be searched but I complied. The whole process ended after some time and I was on my way again.

As I drove off, it occurred to me the other law enforcement groups like the federal road safety corps (FRSC) and the Nigerian Police Force (NPF) does exactly the same job. They all ask for your licence and spare tire and all. I wondered then, why we have different groups of people under different headings doing the same jobs. If the Road safety was lacking personnel, all they needed to do was place an advert for recruitment and people would show up for the jobs. But you know Nigeria my beloved country never does things the way it is don't everywhere else or at least in most parts of the world.

A new governor is elected and he has relatives who have been jobless or maybe even have jobs but they need to step higher and embezzle more money. He can't dismiss a person who has been in a particular position and doing his best for whatever reason. He decides instead to create a new sector and sometimes they can be funny. One day we'll probably have someone with the job title "special adviser to the special adviser of the adviser to the president". Lol just kidding. But the "oga at the top syndrome in Nigeria is at a different level". Everyone wants to be at the top without working hard for the position and definitely not planning to do any better when that position is secured.

Now there is some confusion between us the poor citizens as the job description of the these groups are not well defined and seem to intertwine. Take this instance for example, who is in charge of ensuing driver's licence and renewing expired ones? The VIO and the FRSC claim they are the rightful ones. I'm confused. A similar scenario between the regular traffic wardens I knew growing up, who we called "yellow fever" because of the color of their uniform and a bunch of thugs now employed to monitor traffic by some states e.g. LASTMA (Lagos state traffic management authority) in Lagos and EDOSTMA in Benin, causing numerous problems. 

This post is not intended as a means to disrespect the law enforcement agencies but a wake up call to the government that its citizens are no longer as naive as they once were. Tread carefully.

Cheers.....

STRIKE ACTION

Hello friends and readers,I decided to add a section to my blogs titled "Today". It's basically supposed to comprise to things that occur in my life everyday or new things that I discover that can't be put into any of my previous categories. I may also include certain "gist" that can't wait till Saturdays, when I have the "iSSues Saturday". There might not be a post everyday as my life is really quite boring. It's usually work, home and church for me.

We all know that the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) has been on strike for the past three months and Non- Academic Staff Union of Universities (NASUU) and the Senior Staff Association of  Nigerian Universities (SSANU) joined them last week. Also the National Association of  Resident Doctors (NARD) went on a nation-wide strike at the beginning of the month because the Federal Government is messing up their salaries. That by the way means more work for me since I work for a mission hospital and we don't go on strike. The National Union of Teachers (NUT) are already agitating about going on strike after the warning strike they had last week. Theirs is a sympathy strike for ASUU.

Anyway, today I when to make my hair and a discussion started amongst us; the hair stylist and the clients and guess what we were talking about? the light situation in the country. It's no news that this situation is very poor in Nigeria but it has been extreme for the last one week and then I heard that PHCN (the national body in charge of supplying light were on a warning strike because the government made the decision to privatize the sector. Their complaint; they'll be out of jobs when the new owners take over.

You see the problem is many people look for and get into many job opportunities not because they merit it all the time but also because everything has become a matter of godfatherism in our dear nation. The fear of loosing their jobs therefore comes from not having worked hard to remain there and the possibility of being found out. The reason for this post; I discovered lots of association in the country are on strike, bringing it almost to a stand-still and to ask the question, Which way Nigeria?!

WONDERS SHALL NEVER END

Dear friends, see me see wahala oh! (trouble). I was just sitting down jejeli (quietly) doing my work earlier today when my cell phone indicated I had a new message. I checked it and it was a blackberry messenger friend request. Naturally, I accepted thinking it might be a new client (since I advertised my products on some websites) or maybe an old friend who got my pin somehow. It turned out it was neither of the above options. The display name was Benji Jos, the personal message was "Nollywood actor/free for everyone" and he put up as his display picture the photo of a prominent nollywood actor, #Joseph Benjamin. May I mention at this point that the particular picture is on Google, displayed for anyone who wants it. Infact let me put the picture in this post.

The conversation started with me asking how I may be of help. The reply, he just wants a friend. Then the annoying part came when he started asking very persistently that I put up my personal photo as my display picture. Did I mention that I had a little difficulty understanding whatever form of English he was typing. Anyway I pretended not to see his picture and asked who he was anyway and what he did for a living? He replied that his name is Joseph Benjamin and he is indeed a nollywood actor. I actually laughed out loud, then proceeded to tell my brothers about this new development.

When I insisted that he tell me how he got my pin, he said he saw it on Google. Hmmmmm, I Googled myself and my pin didn't even show up and I know my pin is on exactly 3 websites, 2 for the sake of advertisement. When I insisted he states who he really is, he feigned offense, said "gud by" and then promptly deleted me.

You see many people are prowling around the world looking for who to devour financially or otherwise. Don't fall a prey to their wild schemes. Don't be stupid or gullible. Above all don't be greedy because I believe that people who fall prey do so because of greed. A want for the unattainable. To move up the ladder of success with a jump rather than a slow steady incline. If I was carried away with the excitement of meeting a star on my phone. maybe he would have succeeded in scamming me. Dear actors/actresses maybe there is nothing much you can do about identity thieves, but guard your own identity jealously, less you get into trouble.

Cheers.....

ANOTHER PLANE CRASHES IN NIGERIA

I am not one to write about latest news or gossip and that is definitely not the purpose of this post. I have decided to say something about this because it has upset me so much. Just less than 48 hours after I blogged about a reflection on Nigeria - basically not understanding the reason why the government would spend so much money celebrating when the country still had countless number of problems to solve, I received a text about a crash that happened in Lagos. That was this morning and I was at work. Moments later, another text came in saying no Nigerian TV channels were carrying the news meanwhile the international networks were buzzing with it.

A couple years back I decided to fly from Abuja to Benin, first the flight was delayed by 3 hours, then when we finally got on the plane and took off, oh my God! I actually thought I'd die that day. I can't even begin to describe what happened that day in writing but picture this; upon landing a 5 year old child came into the middle aisle, fell on his knees, bow down and was thank God profusely for a safe journey and guess what someone who left Abuja that same morning by road got to Benin before me. I decided to stick to the road unless I have no choice.

This is my problem now, first of all the people cried out about the nature of bad roads in the country and they fell on deaf ears, afterall, the big shots were using air transport and it was relatively safer and faster. Contracts were given out to individuals and companies who ended up taking majority of the funds and low quality materials were used for the roads, roads were not done fast enough, other times, the roads were getting bad even as construction went on. 

Then it began to happen, initially years apart and then a little more frequent. The disasters that have befallen road travellers for years suddenly decided to take to the skies. There had been many airplane crash prior to 2002 but I probably wasn't paying much attention because somehow I can't seem to recall them as vividly as I recall the ones that have shaken the country since 2002 and they are as follows;

• May 4, 2002 (Kano) EAS airlines - 148 dead
• October 22, 2005 (Lagos) Bellview airlines - 117 killed
• December 10, 2005 (Port-Harcourt) Sosoliso Airlines - 103 killed (school children coming home for Christmas holidays)
• September 17,2006 Airforce plane - 15 dead

There seemed to be a breather for about 6 years after the 2006 incident because the government decided to look into the aviation sector a little bit more, looked like their comfort was being threatened. This led to the advent of airlines like Arik and Aero contractors to name a few. People felt safe again, more people decided to start using air transport as the road were now unbearable and even if you got to your destination safely by road, you were bound to take some pain relief medicines for some days. Then came the reminder that much more had to be done in the aviation sector. 5 crashes in 1 year, as if to say they were making up for the last six crash-free years. It started on;

• March 14,2012 (Jos) - helicopter crash - 4 dead
• June 2, 2012 (Ghana) cargo plane - 10 dead
• June 3, 2012 (Lagos) Dana airlines - 153 (including residents of the crash site) dead
• October 25, 2012 (Yola) Cessna aircraft - narrow escape
• December 15, 2010 (Bayelsa) helicopter crash - 2 dead

Now 10 months later there is another crash today, this time with Associated airlines and almost 20 feared dead so far. My questions?

• When will Nigerians as a nation become responsible for their actions?
• When will the government rise above taking little bribes to spare the lives of its citizens?

I wonder. Remember as you make your bed so shall you lie on it. If you think buying your own private jets will help, think again because there is bound to be some error due to corruption you refused to checkmate at the onset. 

FREAKY FRIDAY: FRIDAY THE 13TH

I woke up this morning without a thought but to get up and get ready for a long day at work. After some hours, I realized that lots of people on my blackberry list were putting up display pictures of Friday the 13th and relating it to horror things and unlucky days and then I remembered. However, I wondered why this had to be so. I decided to take a step further into some research on it. I know I promised to make it a food or fashion Friday but when else do you blog on Friday the 13th if not on Friday?

From my research, I discovered that Friday the 13th is a western urban legend or superstition which didn't have any records before the 19th century and wasn't popularized until the 20th century. It started amongst the Italians especially Gioachino Rossini. He considered Fridays an unlucky day and 13 an unlucky number and what a coincidence that he died on Friday the 13th! Many other theories have been proposed about the origin of this particular date, but I'm highlighting only one for the purpose of this discussion;

• Following the Gospels, Jesus Christ was crucified on an unlucky day, Friday.
• In the events that occurred before his crucifixion, he had the last supper with his 12 disciples. Many people believe that if 13 people seat at a table, it results in the death of one of the diners.

There are some other days also considered as unlucky Tuesday the 13th in Spain and Friday the 17th in Italy. My take on the whole Friday the 13th issue? I don't believe in any lucky or unlucky days. I personally haven't paid much attention to it. But considered this, If there are at least one and at most three of such days in a year, does it mean that on those days, you'll hide at home even if you had an appointment to meet. Let's not forget that there are things called domestic accidents. I've seen people who were in their homes and a car failed its brakes and ran into them. Just last year, a Dana aircraft from Abuja enroute Lagos crash landed into people's homes taking their lives. So while we are been scared of a date, Let's remember that the life we have isn't ours alone. God gives and he takes.

Now on a lighter note, today is also international chocolate day. So stop being too superstitious and relax. Afterall, it's food Friday here at kays fittings

Cheers...

FUNNY HOW DIFFERENTLY MEN AND WOMEN SEE COLORS!!!

A few months back, I blogged about how to make the best use of your outfits, "Tips for making good use of all your outfits". Earlier this week, on Tuesday to be precise, as I was getting ready to go to work, I realized that I was getting bored with my previous arrangement of wearing a particular color for a week. I also realized that sometimes I had too few clothes for the days of the week or too many. I also made it a habit to put on some African traditional clothing on Fridays as does most people in Nigeria. 

So, as I was looking for ways to break up the monotony of my dress code. I put on a torquise outfit on Tuesday and the thought "torquise Tuesday" came to mind. I began to think " okay, what if for just one week I choose colors with the First alphabets same as the particular day of the week?" So I thought, White Wednesday, Tan Thursday! uhhh niceeee. Then I got stuck. For the life of me I couldn't remember and colors that had matching alphabets with the days of the week. I could only think of blue, green, red, black, grey, orange, purple e.t.c. I remembered that there are many shades when it comes to choosing colors but I couldn't remember them. I went to ask my younger sister but she sent me to the internet. However, I wanted a shortcut so I put out the message on my blackberry messenger and I got this picture below.

When I first saw the picture, it was hilarious to me, but it helped me solve my color problems on the long run. For next week, I'll be dressing according to colors that match the days of the week and you'll be kept informed on my progress. 

Stay Tuned! Cheers!!!

One last thing, irrespective of your gender, how do you see colors?

THE NEXT BIG THING!

Generally, many Africans have always loved the traditional way of medications even though not many people acknowledge this fact. I think this is as a result of the way they were brought up, going to seek herbalist care in times of need in the olden days and a lot of people still retain these to this day. With the advent of Christianity came orthodox medicine. As a medical Doctor, we were thought the orthodox ways of drug prescription, I guess mainly because these drugs have being properly researched as per preparations, dosing, uses and side effects. We were thought to discourage the use of traditional medicines in our patients. As many of them ended up coming to the hospital with very poorly managed disease conditions and sometimes too late to be saved. 

A few of years ago, there was a burst of herbal products into the Nigerian cosmetic market courtesy of companies like the Forever living products, GNLD to mention a few. These companies manufactured these herbs and put them into beautiful bottles, gave them brand names and then it didn't look so bad anymore.  They also came with a money-making marketing strategy which was register with the company, get products  equivalent to the amount paid for registration, these products can either be used by you or sold to make profits and if the individual can get more people to register with the company then the individual makes even more money. Nice isn't it? 

The first of these products was the ALOE VERA. It entered the Nigerian market with a huge bang. In body creams, soaps, in drinks and even as tablets. It was the talk of the town. My mum even planted a few in the backyard. As expected, medical research became interested too. They came up with the conclusion that it shouldn't be ingested as it may cause renal failure or some other type of disease.

Two months ago, I went for a medical update (Family Medicine) on integrative medicine basically talking about complementary, alternative medicines (CAM) and it seemed to me that doctors are now beginning to realize that no matter how much they discourage their patients from taking non-orthodox medications, they weren't making much headway and they patients just took the drugs without telling the doctors what else they took besides their already prescribed medications from the hospital. The trend seems to have shifted to researching the drugs to get as much information as you can and using it to help the patient. You could either totally ban the patient from using it if it is not safe, prescribe once you think are safe e.t.c. It was in this conference I first heard of MORINGA another all-purpose medication said to work wonders. I am still gathering information on its effects. 

The object of my discussion today is however, SHEA BUTTER, locally known as ORI in Nigeria and many parts of West Africa. It is a slightly yellowish or ivory-colored fat extracted from the nut of the African Shea tree. It is widely used in cosmetics as a moisturizer or lotion. It is edible and some companies have used it in preparations of chocolate and margarine. As a child growing up, Shea butter was applied to my cuts and bruises and I hated it because it smelt so bad. One day now all grown up I went to make my hair in the salon and my hair stylist advised me to apply Shea butter to my hair, that it would help its growth and condition it. I listened and after the first year there was a remarkable difference. My hair was fuller and longer. The surprising thing happened at the beginning of this week. I had lots of acne (pimples) on my face and a friend of mine walked up to me and said "what facial treatment do you use?" I replied "my facial scrub at night". She said okay, but try applying Shea butter at night after using your scrub. I accepted but I have my reservations so I didn't start until two nights ago. Today, as I post this blog, the acne is all gone and the blackhead marks are only slightly visible. The best thought that came to my mind was to share this my new discovery that has been there for so many years and people know so little of. So I say "the next big thing, is Shea butter". Try it. 

Cheers.....

TIME MANAGEMENT

It seems to me that to be successful, you have to learn to save a lot, and not just money but also health and time. This is because it is in good health and with enough time that you can appropriately spend your saved money. I'm probably not the best person to discuss about this but definitely not the worst. For example, I can spend a lot of time watching television instead of reading but when I need to get work done, I get down to it. I read a book (101 ways to make every second count-time management by Robert W. Bly) on time management and not to brag, but I realised I already did some of the stuff in it but not religiously. I also felt people ought to know some little tricks to help them manage their time more effectively and make them more productive.

#Stolen from my brother, Royce "Time is all I fear.... so I just keep running." Everyday already looks like it's not enough, like we need it to be up to 25 hours in a day. Like the book said, "time is a non-renewable resource that's consumed at a constant and relentless rate". You never get it back when it's gone. Have you heard the adage "time is money?" it's very true, so learn to save a lot of it.

Time is Money!

I will be by giving you you a brief content of what is in the book, just a tip of the iceberg. To get the whole gist, get your copy now.
1) Start by creating work habits that speed you up;

• Make "to do lists" - daily ones, project ones and ones for long term.
• Determine your priorities, first things first.
• Overcome procrastination, it is the biggest killer of opportunity.
• Eliminate bad habits that waste time e.g. going back to sleep after waking up, watching television to late at night, midnight calls e.t.c.
• Avoid distractions, any unscheduled activity that interrupts a task you are currently working on like taking all your calls. You can solve this by putting your phone on silent while you work and scheduling an hour or two to return all calls you missed.
• Use the 80/20 rule which states that 80% of your accomplishments come from only 20% of your effort. The author of this book says to start by keeping a record of your daily activities for about 2 weeks, locate the time wasters and try to solve them.
• Make use of standard operating procedures, turn all your routine activities into an operating system by using the method of mass production instead of repeating same steps of a task everytime you need to do it.
• Adjust your schedules to your energy levels, this should be the time of the day when you are most alert and perform best. For me this is late at night when everyone else is asleep especially when I've had my siesta. Finally! some peace and quiet. Try to schedule and handle mentally tasking jobs during this periods.
• Maintain peak energy during the day. Increased productivity is associated with enthusiasm and the opposite with boredom. Do what you love.
• Design a productive workspace where you have all you need within easy reach.

Next is increasing your productiveness

• Set your goals high
• Enjoy your work
• Value your time and money
• Avoid burnout which stems from boredom, overworked, underworked. You become time conscious, have difficulty concentrating, low self esteem e.t.c Try doing something new or take a vacation.
• Increase energy output by 

1. taking cool drinks during the day (a 70kg adult need up to 3litres of water/fluid in a day).
2. eat breakfast no matter how little.This I had a big problem with but now I make sure to had breakfast at 9 everyday.
3. eat little amounts of food during the day as eating too much food draws blood flow away from your vital organs like the brain and heart to the stomach and intestines to aid digestion making you feel sleepy.
4. Take fruits and veggies, like they say "an apple a day keep the doctor away" even as a doctor, I don't like to take medicines neither do I like to prescribe them as every drug is a potential poison and has its side effects.
5. don't take alcohol during work hours and if possible during the work days as it reduces mental alertness.
6. Exercise regularly even short walks or aerobics will do.

• Delegate duties
• Use technology that saves time
• Get organized

10 TIPS TO HELP YOU WORK BETTER AND FASTER

• Use a computer
• Don't be a perfectionist
• Free yourself from the pressure of being an innovator
• Switch back and forth between different tasks
• Don't waste time working on projects you don't have
• Make deadlines firm but adequate
• Stay focused
• Set a production goal
• Do work that you enjoy e.t.c.

Like I said, this is just a tip of the iceberg as I can't possibly upload the whole book on this blog. There are more chapters with illustrated examples on how to save your time and make you more productive. This book is a must have! 

Goodluck saving more time for more important things like Family! Cheers!!!

LEADERSHIP

I love adventure and I love to travel. I just got back from Abuja, the federal capital where the nation's leaders reside and as you'd all agree it's such a beautiful city. A couple of weeks ago, I posted an article on "which way naija" and these circumstances got me thinking about what if people had a dose of what it actually takes to be a leader. Would it change our outlook on life, improve our sense of responsibility? And maybe someday lead to a better Nigeria. So today I'm talking on leadership.

Who is a leader and what are the qualities of a leader? In other words, what does it take to become a leader. By definition, a leader is someone who guides, directs and can influence people. A leader may or may not have any formal authority. Leadership has been described as a process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task. It may also be organizing a group of people to achieve a goal.

Studies of leadership have produced theories involving traits, interaction, function, behaviour, power, charisma, intelligence, vision and values. According to some, leadership is determined by distinctive dispositional characteristics present at birth e.g. intelligence, ingenuity e.t.c. However, it has also been shown that leadership also develops through hardwork and careful observation. Thus, effective leadership can result from nature (innate talents) and nurture (acquired skills).

A leadership style is a leader's style of providing direction, implementing plans and motivating people. It is the result of the philosophy, personality and experience of the leader. Different situations call for different leadership styles. In an emergency when there is little time to converge on an agreement and where a designated authority has significantly more experience or expertise than the rest of the team, an autocratic leadership style may be most effective; however, in a highly motivated and aligned team with a homogeneous level of expertise, a more democratic style may be more effective. The style adopted should be the one that most effectively achieves the objectives of the group while balancing the interests of its individual members. There are many different styles of leadership and I'll just highlight a few;

• Engaging style: engages both leaders and employees in understanding the existing conditions and how they can collectively assist in addressing them.
• Authoritarian or Autocratic style: all the decision making powers are centralized in the leader, as with dictators. They do not entertain any suggestions or initiatives from subordinates.
• Democratic or Participative style: consists of the leader sharing the decision making abilities with the group members by promoting the interests of the group members and by practicing social equality.
• Free- Rein style: the person in charge is in the position without providing leadership, he leaves the group to fend for itself.
• Narcissistic style: the leader is only interested in him/herself. Their priority is themselves at the expense of their people/group members. exhibits characters such as arrogance, dominance and hostility. It is a common leadership style
• Toxic style: this leader is someone who abuses the leader-follower relationship by leaving the group or organization in a worse-off condition than when he/she joined it.
• Task-Oriented/ Relationship-Oriented style: the task-oriented leader is focused on the tasks that need to be performed in order to meet a certain production goal. Many men usually take this type of leadership style. The relationship-oriented leader is more focused on the relationships amongst the group members and is generally more concerned with the overall well-being and satisfaction of group members. Women tend to favour this style more.

To be a good leader, you have to acquire certain qualities and skills. These qualities include;

• Honesty
• Learn to delegate duties: you can't do it all on your own, look for specialist in specific areas that you are not good at, harness the strengths of your staff and use it positively. you can then do the jobs you enjoy and supervise the others. If you try to do it all, you'll either burnout or do it wrong or both. Even super heroes have sidekicks.
• Set up a TEAM
• Communication: Always make sure that you get information across to your staff properly and in time. Communication is not all about giving out information, also try to take in some, verbally or by body language. Develop a good listening ear. It will go a long way to help with problem solving. The least member of your team may have something new to teach you. ALWAYS LISTEN TO BOTH SIDES OF A STORY BEFORE MAKING A DECISION.
• Be considerate: don't try to harass or bully people into doing things that will especially not benefit them and will be gainful to you. You will only end up breeding angry workers that are ineffective and as such non-productive. Note that majority of people would much rather do nothing all day and earn a salary at the end of the month and only a few actually do their jobs. EVERYONE WORKS FOR A MEANS OF LIVELIHOOD FIRST! THE JOB IS A MEANS TO AN END
• Motivate your workers: a promotion, a word of praise or encouragement, a pat on the back, some guidance may go a long way to cheering up an already worn out employee and make them more productive
• Take responsibility for your actions, realize when you have gone wrong and apologize
• Enforce some disciplinary measures but never get to the point of victimizing a group member for whatever reason.
• Have a sense of humor: occasionally the tension in the work space might be so much almost palpable, try to break the ice even in the most dreary situation with business looking down.
• Be confident
• Be committed to achieving your set goals
• Always have a positive attitude
• Be creative and inspire the people who work with you.

There is a huge difference between being a leader and being a figure head. So go out and take charge. Be the best that you can be, whether leader or follower, prove your worth!

FAITH MEDIPLEX CELEBRATES

For the past two months, the Church of God Mission Inc.and her subsidiaries (Faith mediplex, Benson Idahosa University and Greater tomorrow group of schools) has been on a celebration mood as its overseer  Archbishop Margaret Benson Idahosa prepares for her 70th birthday. Today, one of the subsidiaries, Faith mediplex (the place where I work) hosted the Archbishop and it was an amazing and colourful event. There was a beautiful cultural group to welcome her, 32 new mothers were given gifts with a promise of an all expense paid medical bill for women that deliver on the 29th of July, 2013, the actual birth date of Mama. 

For folks residing in Benin city, Edo state, you are invited the main event at the Faith arena, Ugbor, G.R.A. on the 28th and 29th of July, 2013.

Here are a few pictures of the event.

THE POWER IS IN YOUR HANDS!!!

Hey guys, I know I was away for a little while and I had good reason to be. While I was away I was extremely busy preparing for the graduation party of my younger brother who just became a Doctor of Dentistry, so he is a Dentist. I've always known him to be a bookworm but never a motivational speaker. He was the class representative (class rep) of his class and as such was their valedictorian. He then had to give a speech on the graduation day. I couldn't believe my eyes and ears, you have to be with your dictionary to understand a third of what he said but I enjoyed it and it got him a standing ovation even from the professors of his college. 

Seeing him up there on the stage solidified my theory that we (humans) are all multi-talented, we just have to harness that talent and put it to good use. In his words, "the power to choose our destiny is in our hands! " Here is a video of his speech

Here are also a few photos from the event:

My Aunt

The Celebrant and I

My lovely brothers