15 PROBLEMS WITH GMB's FAKE LAB TESTS

Over the weekend, some lab results surfaced on the internet, supposedly said to belong to one of the candidates running for the position of the president, (general Muhammadu Buhari). When I saw them, my heart sank. Not out of sympathy for him or anything, (because the results are fake). But out of pity for a country that I call home. It reminded me of the reason why many good people of Nigeria leave the game of politics for those who can get their hands dirty. The reason why politics in Nigeria is viewed as a "do or die" affair. The reason why we are still in this backward movement with corruption thriving like no man's business.

Any medical doctor with half a brain, any good lab scientist, infact, any properly trained medical personnel who sees this results should know that they have been fabricated. Whether the fabrication was done by a very jobless individual as a prank, or whether it was a well plotted plan by the opposition, it makes absolutely no sense. We should focus on a better tomorrow no matter who wins the elections come February, 2015.

For the benefit of millions of the non-medical Nigerian population who wouldn't know what the interpretation of this report could mean, I have decided to analyse it. The first report is that of a kidney function test and prostate test. Let's start from the form;

1. For starters, there is no such hospital in Nigeria as "Ahmadu Bello Teaching Hospital",  what we have is "Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital".
2. When you are unsure but almost certain of a diagnosis, you query it. That 'query' is written in form of a question mark, before the diagnosis not after. So, it's supposed to be "?prostate cancer" not "prostate cancer??".
3. The department should have corrected a mistake like "chemical pathology report from" by now to "form". 
4. Results of kidney function tests (e/u/cr) is gotten within hours even in a very small private hospital (like the one I worked in). Unlike the 4 days indicated in this lab report. 
5. On the other hand, a psa (prostate specific antigen) result can take up to a week to get ready, but let's assume that they are extra fast in processing psa results.
6. In analysing the e/u/cr report, first the values and even SI unit of some of the parameters are wrong e.g. the SI unit for creatinine is in umol/l not mmol/l. The range of potassium is (3.5-5.0) not (30-5.6). Correct values.
7. Notice that there is no result for chloride.
8. At a potassium of 7, the patient would be dead not campaigning around the country 3 months later. 
9. A psa result is non-specific for a cancer of the prostate. Also, certain procedures elevate its values, e.g. passing a ureturethral catheter or performing a digital rectal exam before blood samples are collected. 
10. You don't suggest a diagnosis in a chemical pathology report. But, even if you want to, wouldn't you draw attention to the sinister e/u/cr, rather than a psa?

1. Again, the above report for a "histology" of a prostate biopsy belongs to an institution that is clearly not in Nigeria.  *wrong name of institution*. 
2. The is no request for this prostate biopsy, which is why I put histology in quotes in number 1. For all I know he might have requested a cytology.
3. The request is also staging the disease. You can't stage cancer of the prostate before biopsy ( before confirmation of a cancer), and definitely not by a DRE. Staging is done using bone scan, MRI, CT Scan e.t.c. 
4. The staging is also wrong. There is nothing like prostatic intra-epithelial neoplasm, it's not the cervix. The TNM method is used. Besides that "DRE" done, the person should be thinking more of stage 2 or 3, not a pre-malignant stage. Haba! 
5. Finally histology reports in Nigeria take weeks not 4 days to get reported. Unless, again, ABTH is so fast.

This is the correct ABUTH histology request form.

Please Nigerians, this is not a get in or die trying situation. The Niger-deltans are already threatening fire and brimstones should GEJ lose and the bokoharam, well, will continue their terror should it go the other way. What should other tribes who have never been given an opportunity to rule the country do then? Burn it to the ground? Please let us #votenotfight. If you kill yourself over election wahala, remember that the politicians would still be alive and well, chopping the money that you are hoping to get a pinch of. Be wise!

Cheers....